I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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