Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
