I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
