I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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