She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
