he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
