I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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