Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my mouth tastes like poor choices
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize