The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
