so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
