The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
