So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
