Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
