Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
