Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
