you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
How's work?
Spinning.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
