I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
