i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
