See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
