no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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