you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
