hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
