haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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