my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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