So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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