so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
