Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
