you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
