Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
