wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
