Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I will be naked everywhere
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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