It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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