If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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