First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
