are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
