The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
