I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
