Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
