id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
