You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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