i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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