i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
