You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
