She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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