The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
