I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
