I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
