is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
