i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it glows. i had to have it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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