; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
