Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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