ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish you could order shots online.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
