Can i not drive my cunt home
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
