I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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