New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
