I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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