I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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