If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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