i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
